A friend and mentor of mine paid me a huge compliment the other day. He said, “Bobby, I’ve watched you for over 3 years now and I have to tell you that I have never, in all my years, met a man who has taken more sucker punches to the gut than you and you don’t even flinch.”
It took me a moment to process what all that meant, but mostly, I was just speechless.
That hasn’t left me since that time. I think about it constantly. “What did he mean?” “Is it true?” “Surely he was just being nice and trying to be encouraging.”
So I went back to him and asked what he meant by that exactly.
He began to recount all the times since we’ve met that life had just plain beat the tar out of me, yet, my family and I just kept moving forward, not letting us stop our forward motion, and I led my family through some tough times.
He told me I needed to tell my story more often. I hate doing that for two reasons. First, I hate it when people just talk about themselves. Second, I hate reliving those pains and hurts in public.
You see, I learned something about myself through that compliment. What is perceived in public as my greatest strength (I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve) is probably my greatest weakness.
I don’t let people in.
I get to the edge of a meaningful friendship and won’t go any further.
People who are closest to me see some of the things we have gone through and see how we handle it publicly (which is to say, we don’t handle it publicly) and give us praise for our stiff upper lip and strong resolve… not knowing that when we go home and come completely unglued and double over in pain.

I’ve been reading Fathered By God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You and tonight I ran across something that just struck home for me.

As I think back over the past twenty years, I see now that nearly everything I’ve learned as a warrior, I’ve learned on the field of battle, in the school of reality, the classroom of my life. I began to see the answer to the question: “How does God raise the warrior in a man?”
Hardship.
Something in you knows it’s true. I think this is where we have most misinterpreted what God is up to in our lives. As long as we are committed to the path of least resistance, to making our lives comfortable, trial and tribulation will feel unkind. But, if we are looking for a dojo in which to train as a warrior, well then-this is the real deal. What better means than hardship? What better way to train a warrior than by putting a man in situation after situation where he must fight?

(Eldridge, pp. 110-111)

Some of our hardships have been because we stepped out in faith, others were because we were doing what we are called to do, and others still came out of nowhere and caught us by surprise. Ren and I have been married for 12 years and we’ve had our fair share of hard knocks. But every time we got back up… and will continue to do so.

To my friend who paid me the compliment, I’ll leave the telling of my story up to you… I’m too busy training.

I’ve been at NorthWood Church for four years now.  I can honestly say that the bulk of my spiritual journey has happened since being at NorthWood.  Bob Roberts is an incredible visionary leader, mentor, and friend.  Jordan Fowler and Omar Reyes have helped shape what I believe and “set it in stone” per se.  People like Jim Hylton and Scott Pricket have held me accountable to my walk.

But it was 2009 that my worldview got drastically changed.

Back in January, Omar went on a Quest with an organization called Fellowship of the sword.  Now, you need to understand something about Omar.  Everyone has someone in their lives who you esteem and regard as being “it.” They know what to say, how to say it and when to say it.  Omar is that guy to me.  I didn’t think anything about it when he left for 6 days on this quest.  But, I was shocked when he got back and he was… well, to put it mildly… “more.”  It showed me two things.  First, we all have our past hurts and “junk” to deal with.  When we let God deal with those, we become closer to what He wants us to be.

Omar came back and told me that I needed to go.  Then, Scott Pricket walks into my office (another fellow “quester”) and said that I needed to go.  So, somewhat begrudgingly, I went (to be honest, it was mostly fear that gripped me.  What if God didn’t show up for me like it had for these other men I knew who went?  What if I go and I don’t “feel” anything?)  I went… and Father showed up in a big way.  I dealt with junk I didn’t even remember having.  It was the largest “leap forward” in my spiritual life I have ever taken.  It lead me to “relationship status change” (to put it in Facebook speak).  I went from God being… well, God, to God being Father.  Like a lot of you, I would call him “Father” in prayers, but that’s about the extent of my “father relationship” with Him.  I didn’t understand what that meant for my personal walk.  I didn’t understand what that did to my family.  I didn’t understand what that did to those who I come into contact with everyday!  When God is some “being” far away, looking down on you in judgment just waiting to catch you messing up, your theology tends to get out of whack.  If God is your “friend” who just buddy-buddy and wants to be your “homeboy” (I still like that t-shirt, though) then you your theology tends to get out of whack.  But when God is Father, or more intimately “Papa” (Abba – for your theology buffs out there), you’ll be amazed at how the Word comes to life! But there is so much more to that relationship than just calling Him Father.

The sermon series at NorthWood for the month of December is “Christmas Presence.”  I didn’t think much about it, except that I thought is was a great play on words.  Then came a few sermons that have helped me better understand my relationship with Father.  On December 13th (my anniversary, and the day I baptized my oldest daughter) Bob Roberts preached a sermon that I believe is the KEY to most of the problems we see in churches and immature Christians lives today.  It is entitled “No Orphans Allowed” – Take a listen, but before doing so, pray that the Holy Spirit speaks to you through it.  Open your heart to hear what Father wants to tell you.

Christmas Presence: No Orphans Allowed

After a one-year hiatus, I’m back to Bobbysfam.com! What a year it has been! In the coming weeks I will be posting new video blogs, family updates, and random thoughts on random stuff. So much is happening and we’re excited to share with you what’s going on in our lives.

Hope to see you soon!

Well, he did it!  One of my best friends, DonnieB graduated from the Cemetary… er… I mean, Seminary.  His parents threw one hhhhheck of a shin-dig at a very nice, upscale restaurant “Positano Restorante” in Dallas.  Speeches were given, jokes were made, and the 45 close friends and relatives who showed up to celebrate this momentous occasion all had a great time.  I don’t know if there has ever been a time in my life were I have ever felt so honored to be a part of something.  Ren felt the same way. 

In his thank you speech, Donnie made mention of loved ones, both present and passed away, and friends who helped him along the way.  Ren and I were first on that list, which shocked us both.  Donnie and Meredith have become such a HUGE part of our lives and the lives of our girls (all 4 girls just adore their Aunt Meredith and Uncle Donnie… or, as Kyla has coined the phrase… Ms. Donnie… don’t ask, it’s a Kyla thing).  Ren and I both almost cried.  It was one of the most memorable speeches I have ever heard and will never forget, but there is one part that meant the most to me.  Donnie said that he didn’t feel like it was just his accomplishment, it was the accomplishment of all the friends and family who supported him over the years.  And it’s not his degree, but “ours.” Donnie, just wanted to let you know that means a lot to me… because it’s going on my resume as of right now!  Whew!  That’ll save me a LOT of time and several thousand dollars!

So here’s to DonnieB, from BobbyV… it’s an honor and a privilege to be able to call you friend and brother… mostly because you are the only student in Southwestern’s history to have an escort and increased security in chapel!  You rock!

Hello everyone!  This is pirate Bob.  I’m hijacking Rennee’s journal for just a moment to tell you ladies about something WAY COOL!  The next time you want to buy a pair of shoes, go to TOM‘s online.  It’s true, ladies talk about the shoes (and some men… if they’re cool enough).  Anyway, these may not be the first pair of shoes someone runs out to buy… or even the tenth, but they will be the one’s that people will be talking about when wearing them.  Why?  Because Tom’s has a buy one pair, get the second pair free campaign!  "That’s not new!"  you say.  Well, yes, it kindof is.  Because you don’t get the second pair!  A kid in a developing nation get’s it for free! 

According to Seth Godin, "Tom has turned the shoe into a souvenir. A post-modern shoe, a shoe for people who don’t need shoes, but are happy to wear a statement. This isn’t the first pair of shoes most Americans will buy, it might not even be the tenth. But it will be one that people talk about when they’re wearing it."

Plus, I kinda like the design.  They look comfortable.

There’s a company from near my home in Colorado called Chaco’s who has a similar program.  But they take your gently used shoes and sends them to Africa for people.  Chaco’s are awesome… if you can afford them.  But for a company that does so much for the environment and people over the ocean, the price is worth it.

So go tell your husband you want to help a needy child and go buy some shoes! 

This is where Rennee will be doing her best work… when she get’s around to it.  Start leaving comments here to urge her to post more!!