In my life I’ve had many mentors. Some intentional, most not. It’s vitally important that you have mentors in your life. I have some mentors that I disagree with on most everything… on purpose. Most people choose mentors based upon common beliefs, career fields, life stage, etc. And that’s good. But I challenge you to find someone you KNOW you will disagree with. Hang out with them. Learn from them. And don’t argue your point with them. They are your mentor, not the other way around. That is, of course, unless you are prompted to do so. Horizons are broadened. World views are changed. And you have a better idea of the real world than just your little bubble.

In the past year I have had 3 primary mentors who I spend time with. And here is what I have found. When your intentionally find mentors, you find yourself “digging deeper” when you search out new mentors. Again, sometimes this is a conscious decision, other times not so much. In my most recent case, it was completely a God thing.

I was going through some tough emotional baggage that I most enjoy carrying around and I began to ask who I needed to call. Out of nowhere, I contact someone I had only been introduced to. I really didn’t know him at all, really.
But I contacted him. And he met with me and I began a new, deeper journey than I was ever expecting.

Naturally, I found that my previous mentors were setting me up for this one. And this is a very scary thought right now – this mentor is setting me up for a deeper mentor later. Right now my mind is so blown that the possibility of “going deeper” scares me to death!

Mentorships take us where we’ve never been, and sometimes where we don’t want to go. It’s those times where growth happens and new milestones are set. Seek out the mentors in your life. Here are a few guidelines that one of my mentors taught me:

1) Anyone worthy of being a mentor generally doesn’t have time to be your mentor – so don’t ask them to be. Ask them out to lunch and give them a heads up on any questions or topics you would like to discuss so they don’t feel their time is being wasted.

2) Know what you want to learn beforehand. Even if the direction of the mentorship takes another direction than originally anticipated, it’s ok. Just don’t go in blind.

3) If you take them out for lunch or coffee, don’t make them pay. If they’re worth the time, their worth the dime. (sorry, I needed to rhyme for some reason)

4) Understand that most mentors are seasonal.

5) Finally, always seek mentors who go deeper (usually, the mentors of your mentors are a good place to start)

You know how there are just some dates and events that just get stuck in your head?

Every year on April 20th, my mind – with no prompting from any outside source – automatically sees the image above. I remember how I heard about the Columbine Massacre. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the horror I felt because my first-born child was merely 2 months old and I was scared for her.
Yes, I remember that day clearly. I don’t know why that significant event sticks in my head when most of you go about April 20th without a single thought to the 12 students and 1 teacher who were killed and others wounded… still dealing with the after effects 11 years later. I’m not berating you for not remembering, there are national events you may remember that I have casually forgotten. I’m just trying to figure out why this was such a significant event in my life seeing as how I’ve never even been to Columbine High School.

Was it because of my new child that I had a heightened awareness of a public school shooting?

Was it because it was so close to home (I lived in Colorado at the time)?

I don’t know.

Here’s what I can say: Rachel Scott left a permanent mark on my life because of the way she died. But more importantly, by the legacy she left.

Sometimes when I’m reading through the Old Testament, I feel like it’s a broken record – “Israel followed God. Israel disobeyed God. Israel followed God. Israel disobeyed God.”
At NorthWood we are doing something called The James Experiment. It’s a guided study through the book of James into a deeper look at faith in action. We just began week 3 and it’s causing me to notice patterns in my life… both good and bad.
I go through times of deep, emotional closeness to God only to turn around a few weeks or months (sometimes days) later in rebellion against His will. My own prayers begin to sound like a broken record at times, “Lord, forgive me for this same blah, blah, blah I constantly go back to…” Just being completely honest here, but I get tired of praying it. If I were God (good thing I’m not) I would get tired of hearing it, too.
As I was contemplating these patterns in life, I began to understand that in my times of wandering through the wilderness – seemingly alone – I grow. Sometimes the wilderness is the best place to be. Now, hear me, I didn’t say the “fun” or “easy” place to be… just the best place. When I wander in the desert it causes me to slow down and take stock of my life. De-junkify my life. Count my blessings. And I do so… through sweat from the heat of the desert and tears of brokenness. I hate the desert places of my life. Putting it bluntly, they suck. I wish I could say I’m always so close to God that I never find myself in the desert.

But, sometimes even following God closely leads to the wilderness.

James 1.2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Man, had a great (and terrible) time with the Father this morning. I woke up at 5:30 and immediately started running through my day and next week in my head. Then, I had what I call a “Bob Roberts moment” – A moment when everything goes quiet and I hear, “Why are you chasing after the approval of men?” (If you know Bob Roberts or read his book “Transformation” you know what I’m talking about). From that moment and for the next one-and-a-half hours I began seeing my day, next week, and the next few months in a whole new light. It was refreshing… and very scary, I’ll be honest. There’s something that is freeing when you know you don’t have to win the approval of everyone. When you it doesn’t matter if you get recognized for your hard work or not. But it’s terrifying because when you know that the Father’s in control… all bets are off. You never know what the Spirit will be having you do next. My initial reaction this morning was massive relief, then anxiety. But then I opened the Word and read the following. It’s a gentle reminder that I’m a part of a family, and as a part of that family – even though I may screw up – is always there for me.

Ephesians 2.16-22

Christ brought us together through his death on the cross. The Cross got us to embrace, and that was the end of the hostility. Christ came and preached peace to you outsiders and peace to us insiders. He treated us as equals, and so made us equals. Through him we both share the same Spirit and have equal access to the Father.
That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles (orphans – my word here). This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He’s using us all – irrespective of how we got here – in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day – a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home.

I especially like the part where the apostles and prophets are the foundation and now he’s using me.

A friend and mentor of mine paid me a huge compliment the other day. He said, “Bobby, I’ve watched you for over 3 years now and I have to tell you that I have never, in all my years, met a man who has taken more sucker punches to the gut than you and you don’t even flinch.”
It took me a moment to process what all that meant, but mostly, I was just speechless.
That hasn’t left me since that time. I think about it constantly. “What did he mean?” “Is it true?” “Surely he was just being nice and trying to be encouraging.”
So I went back to him and asked what he meant by that exactly.
He began to recount all the times since we’ve met that life had just plain beat the tar out of me, yet, my family and I just kept moving forward, not letting us stop our forward motion, and I led my family through some tough times.
He told me I needed to tell my story more often. I hate doing that for two reasons. First, I hate it when people just talk about themselves. Second, I hate reliving those pains and hurts in public.
You see, I learned something about myself through that compliment. What is perceived in public as my greatest strength (I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve) is probably my greatest weakness.
I don’t let people in.
I get to the edge of a meaningful friendship and won’t go any further.
People who are closest to me see some of the things we have gone through and see how we handle it publicly (which is to say, we don’t handle it publicly) and give us praise for our stiff upper lip and strong resolve… not knowing that when we go home and come completely unglued and double over in pain.

I’ve been reading Fathered By God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You and tonight I ran across something that just struck home for me.

As I think back over the past twenty years, I see now that nearly everything I’ve learned as a warrior, I’ve learned on the field of battle, in the school of reality, the classroom of my life. I began to see the answer to the question: “How does God raise the warrior in a man?”
Hardship.
Something in you knows it’s true. I think this is where we have most misinterpreted what God is up to in our lives. As long as we are committed to the path of least resistance, to making our lives comfortable, trial and tribulation will feel unkind. But, if we are looking for a dojo in which to train as a warrior, well then-this is the real deal. What better means than hardship? What better way to train a warrior than by putting a man in situation after situation where he must fight?

(Eldridge, pp. 110-111)

Some of our hardships have been because we stepped out in faith, others were because we were doing what we are called to do, and others still came out of nowhere and caught us by surprise. Ren and I have been married for 12 years and we’ve had our fair share of hard knocks. But every time we got back up… and will continue to do so.

To my friend who paid me the compliment, I’ll leave the telling of my story up to you… I’m too busy training.

Ok, that title’s not entirely true. Here at NorthWood, we train young pastors who want to start new churches from around the world. We do that through our Modular Training – 4 days of face-to-face and several months of online training. Doing it this way helps with guys who want training, but can’t (or won’t) move to Texas for 9-months of training (which is the way we’ve done it in the past).
But more than the training, we create a comradery. We laugh, we play, we cry… but mostly laugh. Seriously, it’s a lot of work leading up to the event for the staff, but when we get there we are seriously having the time of our lives! I absolutely LOVE watching the “lights come on” in these guys eyes when a new concept takes hold. I thrive for those moments.
We teach 4 components, or “Modules” – Kingdom (how do you not only see, but live within the Kingdom of God here on earth), Disciple (how to create a discipleship process), Society (we start with the society, NOT the church), and finally, Church (what does a Kingdom minded, Disciple-making, Society-engaging church look like?).
Here are some highlights from this weeks’ training:
- A true disciple both hears AND obeys when the Father speaks… moment-by-moment
- The point is not growing your church, but investing in your community
- Jesus is the head of the Church, not the pastor – all believers can hear from the Head… not just the pastor. (learn to let go of control)
- Don’t quit… it WILL get hard, there WILL be opposition, and you WILL get discouraged.
- Be smart with resources (what really is that $20,000 lighting system going to get you when you’re first starting?)
- Love one another (it’s a harder topic to learn than it is to teach)
- Discover what God is already doing. Don’t try to drag him along in your endeavors
- Release your people to engage the domains of society (Domains are the grid by which we engage, not the church)

This is just a sampling of what happened on one day of the total training… if you’re interested in getting in on the action, go to www.glocal.net/turbo and read the pre-requisites for the “Modular Training” (not the “Turbo” – that’s another deal completely).

Love these guys and can’t wait to see how they will take this and run!

There are two guys who live on my street and every once in a while we go on these “man-dates” to watch “man-movies” and do “manly stuff” like fart out loud… and NOT blame the dog.

Anyway, last night we went to see Avatar in 3D.  I was skeptical about the whole “3D” thing.  The last time I watched something in 3D was “JAWS” back in the late ’80’s.

It was very unimpressive.

So, I sat there in the theater, put on the glasses that make me look like a meth-addicted Buddy Holly, and began to watch the previews (yes, the previews were in 3D too, in case you haven’t seen it).  The first preview was for the new Alice in Wonderland movie.  The 3 of us looked at one another and gave the, “See! I knew this 3D thing was worthless” look.  But then the second preview came on and I actually flinched because I almost got hit in the face by a branch on the screen.

I sat there amazed.

I flinched.  I… actually… flinched.

Then the movie started and for nearly 3 hours I sat there “experiencing” my first movie.  You see, you don’t merely watch Avatar, you experience Avatar.  Even without the 3D, it’s a great movie with an incredible plot and story line. But the 3D takes it to another level completely.

This morning, I was reading Jonathan Acuff’s blog “Stuff Christians Like” and there was one line in it where he said his relationship with God went 3D (not the point of his post, by the way.  Just one line).  But that made me think about my relationship with the Father.  For years, like a good little “Christian,” I went to church, I did my “quiet time,” I sang the songs, I burned all my “worldly” CD’s (only to buy most of them back a few years later after I realized how dumb that was… but that’s for another post) and obeyed the authorities.  I had my golden ticket to ride the heaven train when it left the station and that’s all I needed.

But, as you read in my last post, this year that all changed.  My relationship went 3D.  I know people who do all the things I mentioned above.  I know people who do all of that and then add more rules and regulations to their lives to ensure they are doing everything that they deem as worthy of admiration by God.  That’s living a 2-dimensional life with God.  I told this to someone this morning and they said, “Well, that’s better than living a one-dimensional life with yourself as your god.”  I would have to disagree.  I think it is more dangerous to live a life where you think you have God figured out and even worse, you think you have a relationship.

What happens If I performed a lot of actions for Rennee like, I’m going crazy here, clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, feed the kids… but that is all I did.  No conversations. No sitting next to her holding her hand, no starring at her while she drives in complete adoration (which drives her crazy by the way… I’ve almost caused many-a-crashes that way).  We wouldn’t have a relationship.  I would be a maid.  And, just being honest here, our marriage can get like that at times.  We go through all the motions, get busy with the kids, get busy with our careers, and the relationship takes a back seat.

Our relationship with the Father gets that way.  It’s easy to go to church.  It’s easy to be a “good” person.  It’s easy to follow a list of rules (even made-up ones).  But it’s harder to wake up to a God who is the “Big Man Upstairs” or is merely watching from a distance.  I found that when God became Father to me, spending time with Him was easy.  Waiting on Him was easy.  Sitting and knowing He is in control in the midst of a storm is easy(er).

How are your relationships?  Are you living all of your relationships in 3D?  Is your relationship with Father 3-dimensional?

I’ll never watch movies the same after Avatar.  After that experience, I expect more from my movie-going endeavors from now on.

Same with my Father.  After I experienced Him, I expect more from my relationship with Him.  I wake up wondering what wonderful adventure we’re going to have together today.  I want the same for you, too.

I’ve been at NorthWood Church for four years now.  I can honestly say that the bulk of my spiritual journey has happened since being at NorthWood.  Bob Roberts is an incredible visionary leader, mentor, and friend.  Jordan Fowler and Omar Reyes have helped shape what I believe and “set it in stone” per se.  People like Jim Hylton and Scott Pricket have held me accountable to my walk.

But it was 2009 that my worldview got drastically changed.

Back in January, Omar went on a Quest with an organization called Fellowship of the sword.  Now, you need to understand something about Omar.  Everyone has someone in their lives who you esteem and regard as being “it.” They know what to say, how to say it and when to say it.  Omar is that guy to me.  I didn’t think anything about it when he left for 6 days on this quest.  But, I was shocked when he got back and he was… well, to put it mildly… “more.”  It showed me two things.  First, we all have our past hurts and “junk” to deal with.  When we let God deal with those, we become closer to what He wants us to be.

Omar came back and told me that I needed to go.  Then, Scott Pricket walks into my office (another fellow “quester”) and said that I needed to go.  So, somewhat begrudgingly, I went (to be honest, it was mostly fear that gripped me.  What if God didn’t show up for me like it had for these other men I knew who went?  What if I go and I don’t “feel” anything?)  I went… and Father showed up in a big way.  I dealt with junk I didn’t even remember having.  It was the largest “leap forward” in my spiritual life I have ever taken.  It lead me to “relationship status change” (to put it in Facebook speak).  I went from God being… well, God, to God being Father.  Like a lot of you, I would call him “Father” in prayers, but that’s about the extent of my “father relationship” with Him.  I didn’t understand what that meant for my personal walk.  I didn’t understand what that did to my family.  I didn’t understand what that did to those who I come into contact with everyday!  When God is some “being” far away, looking down on you in judgment just waiting to catch you messing up, your theology tends to get out of whack.  If God is your “friend” who just buddy-buddy and wants to be your “homeboy” (I still like that t-shirt, though) then you your theology tends to get out of whack.  But when God is Father, or more intimately “Papa” (Abba – for your theology buffs out there), you’ll be amazed at how the Word comes to life! But there is so much more to that relationship than just calling Him Father.

The sermon series at NorthWood for the month of December is “Christmas Presence.”  I didn’t think much about it, except that I thought is was a great play on words.  Then came a few sermons that have helped me better understand my relationship with Father.  On December 13th (my anniversary, and the day I baptized my oldest daughter) Bob Roberts preached a sermon that I believe is the KEY to most of the problems we see in churches and immature Christians lives today.  It is entitled “No Orphans Allowed” – Take a listen, but before doing so, pray that the Holy Spirit speaks to you through it.  Open your heart to hear what Father wants to tell you.

Christmas Presence: No Orphans Allowed

*PARENTAL WARNING*
There is one use of the “F” word in here… just letting you know so you don’t listen with your kids in the room!

I just wanted to make a comment on two parts of this video and I would like to open the discussion boards up below for comments.
First, notice what happened to him when he expressed his view of only Atheists can be moral in front of “christians” (small “c” used on purpose here for the obvious reasons). Shame on them! And, Penn, if you’re reading this, don’t let those idiots talk to you that way (by the way, bravo on being the bigger person in that situation!).

Second, I want to say that I agree with him 100% when he says, “If you are doing it [good, moral work] for reward or punishment you’re not doing it because it’s right, you’re doing it for reward and punishment.” Funny, I think the Bible teaches the same thing…

“For by grace you have been saved a through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:8-10

We cannot do ANY works for reward or punishment. We do good works because it is right.

Thoughts?