A few weeks ago I went camping with my brothers and some cousins to celebrate Josh’s 30th birthday. We drove up between Meeker and Craig, Colorado to this perfect camping spot where it was just the 6 of us guys to do anything we wanted. Hiking, fishing, hike-fishing, farting, shooting stuff… it was a blast! Josh and I share a passion of listening to old sermons from people we’ve never heard of for fun. On the way up we were driving in Josh’s red Ford with the camper listening to a sermon when the pastor said the name “Satan.” Now, I don’t know what caught me more off guard, the fact that he actually said the word or that it caught me off guard and, honestly, made me a little uncomfortable.
I sat there for a good minute trying to get a handle on why I reacted in such a way. And then it hit me, it’s been YEARS since I’ve actually heard ANYONE name Satan in a sermon or in life in general. I thought about it a bit more, racking my brain trying to remember the last time I actually heard that name… I could not.
But why did it make me uncomfortable? Then I had this thought: It’s easier to call him “the enemy” or “the darkness”. It’s vague enough that it’s not offensive and nowadays it’s en vogue to believe in God (or, at least gods) but to admit in public you believe in Satan and Hell? No one does that any more, do they? After all, everyone goes to heaven when they die, right?
Pastors don’t like to tackle this question much. It makes us uncomfortable. I seriously can’t remember a fellow pastor, even in casual conversation actually name Satan. We pray against the enemy and darkness, but not “Satan”.
What say you? Does actually naming Satan make you uncomfortable? When was the last time you heard his name mentioned in a sermon?
So, it’s been a while since I posted anything on here. Now that I’m trying to get my head above Facebook water, I’ll be back to posting regularly… I hope. I’ll be working on designing a new site soon, so be sure to keep up!
When Ted does something, he does it good. Starting New Life Church in Colorado Springs and growing it to 14,000 members all the way to struggles with homosexuality and drugs. I say, if you’re going to do it, go all out!
All joking aside, I’m genuinely excited to see that Ted is planting a new church in Colorado Springs (I say “Ted” like we’re lifelong friends or something). I hope the best for him. There has been a lot of pain and a lot of healing for he and his family.
“Why are you so excited for him?”
Glad you asked. Being the son of a preacher-man and a pastor myself now, I have seen over and over again pastors who fall from grace (is THAT even possible?? Well, the grace of man, I guess) only to lose their families and ministries completely and forever. Some, I guess, rightly so. Some people say that Ted would be one of those people. But I, for one, am glad to see that some of his people from his old church have forgiven him and that there has been a lot of love shown to he and his family. It has given me a hope that even pastors can screw up and still find forgiveness.
But this all leads to another question I have struggled with for a while now. I grew up with the saying, “There is no sin greater than another.” The only problem with this is that I can’t find that in the Bible anywhere. I’m not saying it’s not there, I’m saying I can’t find it.
The closest I can get is James 2:10
Even that doesn’t say that one sin is bigger than the other, it just says that if you break any of the laws, you’ve broken them all… even a small sin could topple the whole tower, per se. But that doesn’t mean that there is equality among sins. Even Jesus said there is a “greater sin” - John 19.11 “Jesus answered, ‘You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.’” hmm… I am, by no means, saying that I was taught wrong about the whole “all sins were created equal” thing, but I am looking for that answer.
Let’s say that Ted Haggard would have got cut off in some insane Colorado Springs traffic and he rolls down his window, yells and cusses the guy out, and goes about his merry way. Would Oprah be having him as a guest to talk about his road rage? I think not. There may be something – and I’m just spit-ballin’ here – built within us where we know that there are some sins bigger than others.
In my life I’ve had many mentors. Some intentional, most not. It’s vitally important that you have mentors in your life. I have some mentors that I disagree with on most everything… on purpose. Most people choose mentors based upon common beliefs, career fields, life stage, etc. And that’s good. But I challenge you to find someone you KNOW you will disagree with. Hang out with them. Learn from them. And don’t argue your point with them. They are your mentor, not the other way around. That is, of course, unless you are prompted to do so. Horizons are broadened. World views are changed. And you have a better idea of the real world than just your little bubble.
In the past year I have had 3 primary mentors who I spend time with. And here is what I have found. When your intentionally find mentors, you find yourself “digging deeper” when you search out new mentors. Again, sometimes this is a conscious decision, other times not so much. In my most recent case, it was completely a God thing.
I was going through some tough emotional baggage that I most enjoy carrying around and I began to ask who I needed to call. Out of nowhere, I contact someone I had only been introduced to. I really didn’t know him at all, really.
But I contacted him. And he met with me and I began a new, deeper journey than I was ever expecting.
Naturally, I found that my previous mentors were setting me up for this one. And this is a very scary thought right now – this mentor is setting me up for a deeper mentor later. Right now my mind is so blown that the possibility of “going deeper” scares me to death!
Mentorships take us where we’ve never been, and sometimes where we don’t want to go. It’s those times where growth happens and new milestones are set. Seek out the mentors in your life. Here are a few guidelines that one of my mentors taught me:
1) Anyone worthy of being a mentor generally doesn’t have time to be your mentor – so don’t ask them to be. Ask them out to lunch and give them a heads up on any questions or topics you would like to discuss so they don’t feel their time is being wasted.
2) Know what you want to learn beforehand. Even if the direction of the mentorship takes another direction than originally anticipated, it’s ok. Just don’t go in blind.
3) If you take them out for lunch or coffee, don’t make them pay. If they’re worth the time, their worth the dime. (sorry, I needed to rhyme for some reason)
4) Understand that most mentors are seasonal.
5) Finally, always seek mentors who go deeper (usually, the mentors of your mentors are a good place to start)
You know how there are just some dates and events that just get stuck in your head?
Every year on April 20th, my mind – with no prompting from any outside source – automatically sees the image above. I remember how I heard about the Columbine Massacre. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the horror I felt because my first-born child was merely 2 months old and I was scared for her.
Yes, I remember that day clearly. I don’t know why that significant event sticks in my head when most of you go about April 20th without a single thought to the 12 students and 1 teacher who were killed and others wounded… still dealing with the after effects 11 years later. I’m not berating you for not remembering, there are national events you may remember that I have casually forgotten. I’m just trying to figure out why this was such a significant event in my life seeing as how I’ve never even been to Columbine High School.
Was it because of my new child that I had a heightened awareness of a public school shooting?
Was it because it was so close to home (I lived in Colorado at the time)?
I don’t know.
Here’s what I can say: Rachel Scott left a permanent mark on my life because of the way she died. But more importantly, by the legacy she left.
Sometimes when I’m reading through the Old Testament, I feel like it’s a broken record – “Israel followed God. Israel disobeyed God. Israel followed God. Israel disobeyed God.”
At NorthWood we are doing something called The James Experiment. It’s a guided study through the book of James into a deeper look at faith in action. We just began week 3 and it’s causing me to notice patterns in my life… both good and bad.
I go through times of deep, emotional closeness to God only to turn around a few weeks or months (sometimes days) later in rebellion against His will. My own prayers begin to sound like a broken record at times, “Lord, forgive me for this same blah, blah, blah I constantly go back to…” Just being completely honest here, but I get tired of praying it. If I were God (good thing I’m not) I would get tired of hearing it, too.
As I was contemplating these patterns in life, I began to understand that in my times of wandering through the wilderness – seemingly alone – I grow. Sometimes the wilderness is the best place to be. Now, hear me, I didn’t say the “fun” or “easy” place to be… just the best place. When I wander in the desert it causes me to slow down and take stock of my life. De-junkify my life. Count my blessings. And I do so… through sweat from the heat of the desert and tears of brokenness. I hate the desert places of my life. Putting it bluntly, they suck. I wish I could say I’m always so close to God that I never find myself in the desert.
But, sometimes even following God closely leads to the wilderness.
James 1.2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Man, had a great (and terrible) time with the Father this morning. I woke up at 5:30 and immediately started running through my day and next week in my head. Then, I had what I call a “Bob Roberts moment” – A moment when everything goes quiet and I hear, “Why are you chasing after the approval of men?” (If you know Bob Roberts or read his book “Transformation” you know what I’m talking about). From that moment and for the next one-and-a-half hours I began seeing my day, next week, and the next few months in a whole new light. It was refreshing… and very scary, I’ll be honest. There’s something that is freeing when you know you don’t have to win the approval of everyone. When you it doesn’t matter if you get recognized for your hard work or not. But it’s terrifying because when you know that the Father’s in control… all bets are off. You never know what the Spirit will be having you do next. My initial reaction this morning was massive relief, then anxiety. But then I opened the Word and read the following. It’s a gentle reminder that I’m a part of a family, and as a part of that family – even though I may screw up – is always there for me.
Ephesians 2.16-22
Christ brought us together through his death on the cross. The Cross got us to embrace, and that was the end of the hostility. Christ came and preached peace to you outsiders and peace to us insiders. He treated us as equals, and so made us equals. Through him we both share the same Spirit and have equal access to the Father.
That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles (orphans – my word here). This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He’s using us all – irrespective of how we got here – in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day – a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home.
I especially like the part where the apostles and prophets are the foundation and now he’s using me.
A friend and mentor of mine paid me a huge compliment the other day. He said, “Bobby, I’ve watched you for over 3 years now and I have to tell you that I have never, in all my years, met a man who has taken more sucker punches to the gut than you and you don’t even flinch.”
It took me a moment to process what all that meant, but mostly, I was just speechless.
That hasn’t left me since that time. I think about it constantly. “What did he mean?” “Is it true?” “Surely he was just being nice and trying to be encouraging.”
So I went back to him and asked what he meant by that exactly.
He began to recount all the times since we’ve met that life had just plain beat the tar out of me, yet, my family and I just kept moving forward, not letting us stop our forward motion, and I led my family through some tough times.
He told me I needed to tell my story more often. I hate doing that for two reasons. First, I hate it when people just talk about themselves. Second, I hate reliving those pains and hurts in public.
You see, I learned something about myself through that compliment. What is perceived in public as my greatest strength (I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve) is probably my greatest weakness.
I don’t let people in.
I get to the edge of a meaningful friendship and won’t go any further.
People who are closest to me see some of the things we have gone through and see how we handle it publicly (which is to say, we don’t handle it publicly) and give us praise for our stiff upper lip and strong resolve… not knowing that when we go home and come completely unglued and double over in pain.
As I think back over the past twenty years, I see now that nearly everything I’ve learned as a warrior, I’ve learned on the field of battle, in the school of reality, the classroom of my life. I began to see the answer to the question: “How does God raise the warrior in a man?”
Hardship.
Something in you knows it’s true. I think this is where we have most misinterpreted what God is up to in our lives. As long as we are committed to the path of least resistance, to making our lives comfortable, trial and tribulation will feel unkind. But, if we are looking for a dojo in which to train as a warrior, well then-this is the real deal. What better means than hardship? What better way to train a warrior than by putting a man in situation after situation where he must fight?
(Eldridge, pp. 110-111)
Some of our hardships have been because we stepped out in faith, others were because we were doing what we are called to do, and others still came out of nowhere and caught us by surprise. Ren and I have been married for 12 years and we’ve had our fair share of hard knocks. But every time we got back up… and will continue to do so.
To my friend who paid me the compliment, I’ll leave the telling of my story up to you… I’m too busy training.
Ok, that title’s not entirely true. Here at NorthWood, we train young pastors who want to start new churches from around the world. We do that through our Modular Training – 4 days of face-to-face and several months of online training. Doing it this way helps with guys who want training, but can’t (or won’t) move to Texas for 9-months of training (which is the way we’ve done it in the past).
But more than the training, we create a comradery. We laugh, we play, we cry… but mostly laugh. Seriously, it’s a lot of work leading up to the event for the staff, but when we get there we are seriously having the time of our lives! I absolutely LOVE watching the “lights come on” in these guys eyes when a new concept takes hold. I thrive for those moments.
We teach 4 components, or “Modules” – Kingdom (how do you not only see, but live within the Kingdom of God here on earth), Disciple (how to create a discipleship process), Society (we start with the society, NOT the church), and finally, Church (what does a Kingdom minded, Disciple-making, Society-engaging church look like?).
Here are some highlights from this weeks’ training:
- A true disciple both hears AND obeys when the Father speaks… moment-by-moment
- The point is not growing your church, but investing in your community
- Jesus is the head of the Church, not the pastor – all believers can hear from the Head… not just the pastor. (learn to let go of control)
- Don’t quit… it WILL get hard, there WILL be opposition, and you WILL get discouraged.
- Be smart with resources (what really is that $20,000 lighting system going to get you when you’re first starting?)
- Love one another (it’s a harder topic to learn than it is to teach)
- Discover what God is already doing. Don’t try to drag him along in your endeavors
- Release your people to engage the domains of society (Domains are the grid by which we engage, not the church)
This is just a sampling of what happened on one day of the total training… if you’re interested in getting in on the action, go to www.glocal.net/turbo and read the pre-requisites for the “Modular Training” (not the “Turbo” – that’s another deal completely).
Love these guys and can’t wait to see how they will take this and run!
There are two guys who live on my street and every once in a while we go on these “man-dates” to watch “man-movies” and do “manly stuff” like fart out loud… and NOT blame the dog.
Anyway, last night we went to see Avatar in 3D. I was skeptical about the whole “3D” thing. The last time I watched something in 3D was “JAWS” back in the late ’80’s.
It was very unimpressive.
So, I sat there in the theater, put on the glasses that make me look like a meth-addicted Buddy Holly, and began to watch the previews (yes, the previews were in 3D too, in case you haven’t seen it). The first preview was for the new Alice in Wonderland movie. The 3 of us looked at one another and gave the, “See! I knew this 3D thing was worthless” look. But then the second preview came on and I actually flinched because I almost got hit in the face by a branch on the screen.
I sat there amazed.
I flinched. I… actually… flinched.
Then the movie started and for nearly 3 hours I sat there “experiencing” my first movie. You see, you don’t merely watch Avatar, you experience Avatar. Even without the 3D, it’s a great movie with an incredible plot and story line. But the 3D takes it to another level completely.
This morning, I was reading Jonathan Acuff’s blog “Stuff Christians Like” and there was one line in it where he said his relationship with God went 3D (not the point of his post, by the way. Just one line). But that made me think about my relationship with the Father. For years, like a good little “Christian,” I went to church, I did my “quiet time,” I sang the songs, I burned all my “worldly” CD’s (only to buy most of them back a few years later after I realized how dumb that was… but that’s for another post) and obeyed the authorities. I had my golden ticket to ride the heaven train when it left the station and that’s all I needed.
But, as you read in my last post, this year that all changed. My relationship went 3D. I know people who do all the things I mentioned above. I know people who do all of that and then add more rules and regulations to their lives to ensure they are doing everything that they deem as worthy of admiration by God. That’s living a 2-dimensional life with God. I told this to someone this morning and they said, “Well, that’s better than living a one-dimensional life with yourself as your god.” I would have to disagree. I think it is more dangerous to live a life where you think you have God figured out and even worse, you think you have a relationship.
What happens If I performed a lot of actions for Rennee like, I’m going crazy here, clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, feed the kids… but that is all I did. No conversations. No sitting next to her holding her hand, no starring at her while she drives in complete adoration (which drives her crazy by the way… I’ve almost caused many-a-crashes that way). We wouldn’t have a relationship. I would be a maid. And, just being honest here, our marriage can get like that at times. We go through all the motions, get busy with the kids, get busy with our careers, and the relationship takes a back seat.
Our relationship with the Father gets that way. It’s easy to go to church. It’s easy to be a “good” person. It’s easy to follow a list of rules (even made-up ones). But it’s harder to wake up to a God who is the “Big Man Upstairs” or is merely watching from a distance. I found that when God became Father to me, spending time with Him was easy. Waiting on Him was easy. Sitting and knowing He is in control in the midst of a storm is easy(er).
How are your relationships? Are you living all of your relationships in 3D? Is your relationship with Father 3-dimensional?
I’ll never watch movies the same after Avatar. After that experience, I expect more from my movie-going endeavors from now on.
Same with my Father. After I experienced Him, I expect more from my relationship with Him. I wake up wondering what wonderful adventure we’re going to have together today. I want the same for you, too.
